Comments on "Poetry Time, Part Three"

I should be, like, the next Mother Goose or something, if I keep coming up with stuff like "Running".

Of course, I'd have to go with a different name. Maybe "Father Gander?"

No, too obvious.

"Padré Ganso?"

Too muppety.

"Goosemaster Funk?"

Poetry Time, Part Three

Running

Feet aglow with fire
Running as on air
Speedily and hastily
To hopefully somewhere.
Blurring like a hummingbird,
Yet stirring up the wind;
Running quickly onward
Perhaps to meet a friend.

Comments on "Poetry Time, Part Two"

I don't know where I got the inspiration for "Vicar of Wicker". I think it was just the fact that the two main title words rhymed. Some poetry scholars might be able to see something in it, but I don't really. I put it on my Helium account under "Poetry: Politics" just because there seemed to be a little bit of a political air to it.

Poetry Time, Part Two

Vicar of Wicker

Thou vicar of wicker,
Tyrant of twigs.
You hasten not to your
Public of pigs.

You stand and gaze mightily.
No virtue you bear.
Your people stand anxiously,
Awaiting their fair share.

Have you no decency in you at all?
Do you eagerly await your downfall?
Give it a try.
Do what you must.
But, look on within
And do what is just.

Look not at the world
From your opaque point of view;
Instead look on them
As if in their shoes.


(This poem can be found at my Helium account.)

Einstein Sings: A Play in No Acts

Well, here it is. The final published edition of Einstein Sings: A Play in No Acts by Seth Davidson & Levi S. Johnston. Click the image for a preview of the first few pages and the back cover. Hopefully we will get to see this play produced. Until then, it is an enjoyable read, even for people who don't typically read plays. There are lots of humorous footnotes and Authors' Notes, funny imagery, and a good dose of old-fashioned hilariousness.

Why I Post My Bad Poetry

It is no secret that I am not a big fan of poetry. Now, I don't blame poetry in itself, nor do I blame the many talented poets that have formed and creatively expanded the literary art form. In fact, I have good friends who also happen to be poets.

Actually, I'd like to take this moment to introduce you to Dr. Constance Stadler. I quick search on her name (or the alternative "Connie Stadler") will bring you to many places where she has posted her thought-provoking, sesquipedalian compositions. In addition to her poetry skills, she is a wonderful person that was a great help to me while I was in college.

Still, though I find some poetry interesting, it tends not to interest me. Granted, I have a science background with only spurious abilities in writing satire (or whatever you might be able to call much of what I write) and interpreting plays, and a great deal of practice writing research reports. Most of my language/literature courses beyond high school were only taken as required or because they were in some way related to theatre.

This brings me to what I believe to be why I am not a fan of poetry. Throughout all of my English and literature courses, not much time was ever spent on poetry. It was a short section at the end of a chapter in a couple of classes. The names (not necessarily the works) of Emily Dickinson, e.e. cummings, and Robert Frost are just a few that I remember from high school. Perhaps because of the required standards and objectives in those classes the topic of poetry was less important than knowing parts of speech and being able to use an encyclopedia.

So, as a result of not understanding much of poetry, I fall to the default position of not really caring much about it.

Why, then, do I write poems? Even more importantly: why do I post my bad poetry for all the world to see? (Based on the number of comments I get on my blog, that could be as many as my wife.) I certainly can tell that my poems, with their uneven meter and obvious searches for rhymes, are as close to being good poems as a t-shirt from Hot Topic is to being prom-worthy. (For those of you who are getting ready for the SAT: "Levi's Poems : Good Poetry :: Hot Topic T-shirts : Prom Clothing.)

If nothing else, I have learned that poetry is a means to express oneself. If that happens to be in very poorly-worded, unsyncopated, and essentially obtuse ways, it does not really matter. They will never be published in a compilation of great works (though I did fall for the poem book scam that makes it seem like you wrote something that just needs to be published, as long as you pay $30.00 for a book containing 10,000 other poems that just had to be published, a great percentage of which fall under the same category of useless poetry as your own.)

That is why I write poetry at all.

I still don't know why I show it to anyone. Maybe you can give me a hint?

A Trio of Silly Jokes

These jokes are by no means original. However, they always make me laugh. The trouble is getting someone to buy into it. They always know that something is awry with the question, and only a couple of times have I had anyone actually ask--innocently and unknowingly--the desired setup question that is required to make the joke work.

I present to you a trio of my favorite silly pun jokes, or whatever you want to call them.

Joke #1:

Mr. Joke-asking-person: "Excuse me, young sir. Do you have any updog?"

Mr. Unsuspecting-joke-answerer: "What's 'updog'?"

Mr. Joke-asking-person: "Not much, dude; whassup wit' you?"

(Mr. Joke-asking-person laughs maniacally at the joke victim's expense. Mr. Unsuspecting-joke-answerer stands unamused and slightly baffled.)

Joke #2:

Mr. Joke-asking-person: "Excuse me, young sir. Do you have a henway?"

Mr. Unsuspecting-joke-answerer: "What's a 'henway'?"

Mr. Joke-asking-person: "Oh, about three or four pounds."

(Mr. Joke-asking-person commences with the laughter. Mr. Unsuspecting-joke-answerer gets the joke this time, but continues to be unimpressed by the humor.)

Joke #3:

Mr. Joke-asking-person: "Excuse me, young sir. Do you have a buttfer?"

Mr. (by this point not so much an) Unsuspecting-joke-answerer: "What's a 'buttfer'?"

Mr. Joke-asking-person: "Why, it's for pooping, silly."

(Mr. Joke-asking-person is now ROFL-ing in a very literal sense whilst Mr. Unsuspecting-joke-answerer seeks the hammerfore.)

Mr. Joke-asking-person: "What's the 'hammerfore'?"

(Mr. Unsuspecting-joke-answerer shows him exactly what the hammer is for.)