I am a huge fan of food. Please don't take that to mean I am physically a huge fan of food insomuch as I eat a lot of food and, thus, huge. (Based on my height-weight ratio, however, I should probably be a few inches taller.) I am also not a motorized, multi-appendaged cylinder which induces airflow.
I have a growing collection of recipes at home. Some are neatly assembled into a 3-ring binder (although not necessarily categorized in any certain order.) Others are alphabetically arranged in a 3" x 5" card box. Still more are hastily thrown into a shoebox. The majority of these recipes have been collected by cutting them off of the backs or sides of boxes, removing them from can labels, or ripping them from magazines and newspapers.
As such, some of the recipes have ragged edges or do not quite fit inside the card box (hence the shoebox). I have transcribed some of the recipes onto index cards. I plan to sometime do the same for all of the loose recipes. (I even write it on my semi-monthly "To-Do" lists, in the same column as about fifteen other things that I plan to do. These include transferring the rest of my records and tapes to digital format, completing a distance-learning course for bookkeeping, exercising, and building a theater.)
Unfortunately, I don't really get to cook very often. My current job gets me home somewhat late in the evening, so my wife more than happily (and more than tastily) has dinner in the works by the time I get home. This way we don't have to starve as I try to invent some new concoction that we will never taste while gulping it down hungrily. Consequently, most of the recipes in my collection lay in the box on the bookshelf, quietly sobbing and despondent about their lack of fulfillment.
However, once I get to make something, I usually make the same thing. (This is usually at my wife's request.) If there is one thing that I can make well, it is Chicken Spaghetti. It is not really my own original recipe. I ate it somewhere and got the ingredients from whomever was there to tell me about the ingredients. Anyway, it is a recipe that has stuck with me, much like the cheese sticks to the pasta.
In order to broaden the reach of such a tasty dish, I posted the recipe to my Helium account. At the time, there was not a category for "Chicken Spaghetti", so I created one. I reiterate that I was the one that initiated the category of "Chicken Spaghetti" on Helium's site. Now, if you'll look at the site ranking for recipes within this category, you will note that there are seven (as of today) articles, with mine ranking 7th--last place. I find it funny.
Anyhow, I encourage you to try the recipe. It is super tasty. It only requires chicken, angel hair pasta, processed cheese, and diced chiles & tomatoes. If you are a vegetarian, grow up and eat some meat! No, wait: only joking. In fact, we have made the dish without chicken, and it is just as tasty without it. (I call the meatless version "Pasta Mexitaliano".)
Let me know how it turns out.
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
03 June 2009
28 May 2009
Einstein Sings: A Play in No Acts
Well, here it is. The final published edition of Einstein Sings: A Play in No Acts by Seth Davidson & Levi S. Johnston. Click the image for a preview of the first few pages and the back cover. Hopefully we will get to see this play produced. Until then, it is an enjoyable read, even for people who don't typically read plays. There are lots of humorous footnotes and Authors' Notes, funny imagery, and a good dose of old-fashioned hilariousness.
Why I Post My Bad Poetry
It is no secret that I am not a big fan of poetry. Now, I don't blame poetry in itself, nor do I blame the many talented poets that have formed and creatively expanded the literary art form. In fact, I have good friends who also happen to be poets.
Actually, I'd like to take this moment to introduce you to Dr. Constance Stadler. I quick search on her name (or the alternative "Connie Stadler") will bring you to many places where she has posted her thought-provoking, sesquipedalian compositions. In addition to her poetry skills, she is a wonderful person that was a great help to me while I was in college.
Still, though I find some poetry interesting, it tends not to interest me. Granted, I have a science background with only spurious abilities in writing satire (or whatever you might be able to call much of what I write) and interpreting plays, and a great deal of practice writing research reports. Most of my language/literature courses beyond high school were only taken as required or because they were in some way related to theatre.
This brings me to what I believe to be why I am not a fan of poetry. Throughout all of my English and literature courses, not much time was ever spent on poetry. It was a short section at the end of a chapter in a couple of classes. The names (not necessarily the works) of Emily Dickinson, e.e. cummings, and Robert Frost are just a few that I remember from high school. Perhaps because of the required standards and objectives in those classes the topic of poetry was less important than knowing parts of speech and being able to use an encyclopedia.
So, as a result of not understanding much of poetry, I fall to the default position of not really caring much about it.
Why, then, do I write poems? Even more importantly: why do I post my bad poetry for all the world to see? (Based on the number of comments I get on my blog, that could be as many as my wife.) I certainly can tell that my poems, with their uneven meter and obvious searches for rhymes, are as close to being good poems as a t-shirt from Hot Topic is to being prom-worthy. (For those of you who are getting ready for the SAT: "Levi's Poems : Good Poetry :: Hot Topic T-shirts : Prom Clothing.)
If nothing else, I have learned that poetry is a means to express oneself. If that happens to be in very poorly-worded, unsyncopated, and essentially obtuse ways, it does not really matter. They will never be published in a compilation of great works (though I did fall for the poem book scam that makes it seem like you wrote something that just needs to be published, as long as you pay $30.00 for a book containing 10,000 other poems that just had to be published, a great percentage of which fall under the same category of useless poetry as your own.)
That is why I write poetry at all.
I still don't know why I show it to anyone. Maybe you can give me a hint?
Actually, I'd like to take this moment to introduce you to Dr. Constance Stadler. I quick search on her name (or the alternative "Connie Stadler") will bring you to many places where she has posted her thought-provoking, sesquipedalian compositions. In addition to her poetry skills, she is a wonderful person that was a great help to me while I was in college.
Still, though I find some poetry interesting, it tends not to interest me. Granted, I have a science background with only spurious abilities in writing satire (or whatever you might be able to call much of what I write) and interpreting plays, and a great deal of practice writing research reports. Most of my language/literature courses beyond high school were only taken as required or because they were in some way related to theatre.
This brings me to what I believe to be why I am not a fan of poetry. Throughout all of my English and literature courses, not much time was ever spent on poetry. It was a short section at the end of a chapter in a couple of classes. The names (not necessarily the works) of Emily Dickinson, e.e. cummings, and Robert Frost are just a few that I remember from high school. Perhaps because of the required standards and objectives in those classes the topic of poetry was less important than knowing parts of speech and being able to use an encyclopedia.
So, as a result of not understanding much of poetry, I fall to the default position of not really caring much about it.
Why, then, do I write poems? Even more importantly: why do I post my bad poetry for all the world to see? (Based on the number of comments I get on my blog, that could be as many as my wife.) I certainly can tell that my poems, with their uneven meter and obvious searches for rhymes, are as close to being good poems as a t-shirt from Hot Topic is to being prom-worthy. (For those of you who are getting ready for the SAT: "Levi's Poems : Good Poetry :: Hot Topic T-shirts : Prom Clothing.)
If nothing else, I have learned that poetry is a means to express oneself. If that happens to be in very poorly-worded, unsyncopated, and essentially obtuse ways, it does not really matter. They will never be published in a compilation of great works (though I did fall for the poem book scam that makes it seem like you wrote something that just needs to be published, as long as you pay $30.00 for a book containing 10,000 other poems that just had to be published, a great percentage of which fall under the same category of useless poetry as your own.)
That is why I write poetry at all.
I still don't know why I show it to anyone. Maybe you can give me a hint?
13 May 2009
A Story Created in an IM
Once upon a time I used to enter random chat rooms in AOL (back when it was all the rage). Rather than engage in any meaningful conversation with anyone in the room, I would just say random, funny (at least to me) things, which were typically ignored, shunned, cursed at, or were otherwise a nuisance to the general assortment of people in the room (populated mainly by teenage boys trying to get teenage girls to speak to them in an assortment of conversations appealing to some of the baser of man's instincts.)
But, occasionally, someone else with a similar sense of humor to mine would take the bait and join me in random banter, which became even more funny juxtaposed with the scrolling screen of swear words, emoticons, and acronyms. Though I would usually only find these people one at a time, then somehow never run into them again, a few became pretty good online friends. In fact, one of them even came with a friend to see me in a play in college. They brought flowers and everything.
This same particular friend asked me to tell her a story. So, I had her help set up the basic setting and character of the story, which I then used to write an off-the-cuff fairy tale of "Max and the Green Bean." I was so pleased with the way it turned out that I posted it to my Helium account: "Max and the Green Bean". Note that the beginning of the story is the setup provided by my friend (identified as "D"). I hope you enjoy it.
But, occasionally, someone else with a similar sense of humor to mine would take the bait and join me in random banter, which became even more funny juxtaposed with the scrolling screen of swear words, emoticons, and acronyms. Though I would usually only find these people one at a time, then somehow never run into them again, a few became pretty good online friends. In fact, one of them even came with a friend to see me in a play in college. They brought flowers and everything.
This same particular friend asked me to tell her a story. So, I had her help set up the basic setting and character of the story, which I then used to write an off-the-cuff fairy tale of "Max and the Green Bean." I was so pleased with the way it turned out that I posted it to my Helium account: "Max and the Green Bean". Note that the beginning of the story is the setup provided by my friend (identified as "D"). I hope you enjoy it.
05 May 2009
Am I Back?
For the many, many couples of members of my former audience, let me re-welcome you to my blog.
I know what you're thinking: "Is he really back?" "Is this time for reals?" "Blue cheese is not very blue at all."
But, yes: I am here to attempt it once again. A year later, no less.
Now, rest assured, I will be pretty fastidious for a good couple of posts. Then, perhaps I'll wane away again as time or topic elude me. But, we shall see.
For now, I close with a quick "Here's hoping I stick around this time."
P.S. Blogs are rather fading away as it is, anyway. At the very least I will be able to hammer out some interesting/funny things to ease my creativity bug.
I know what you're thinking: "Is he really back?" "Is this time for reals?" "Blue cheese is not very blue at all."
But, yes: I am here to attempt it once again. A year later, no less.
Now, rest assured, I will be pretty fastidious for a good couple of posts. Then, perhaps I'll wane away again as time or topic elude me. But, we shall see.
For now, I close with a quick "Here's hoping I stick around this time."
P.S. Blogs are rather fading away as it is, anyway. At the very least I will be able to hammer out some interesting/funny things to ease my creativity bug.
19 April 2009
More Spelling Annoyances
I'm here again after another good stretch of time between posts. Once again I must turn your attention to another set of annoyingly common and commonly annoying spelling mistakes a great deal of people make when making comments for public perusal.
Yes, it's true. People write comments that they know others in the general public will read. They seek to make a point in their writing, whether it be a snappy comeback directed at a previous commenter, witty commentary on the subject in question, or to provide additional insight into the discussion.
However, no matter the purpose in their discourse, too many times do they subject the readers to a mind-numbing plethora of poor grammar and bad spelling. (I define "bad" here as simultaneously "incorrect" and "destined to doom the future of humanity when pigeons and jackals with better spelling skills than the greater percentage of English-speaking peoples take out their rage with red ink pens and pleather-encased spell-checking dictionaries.")
Common Misspelling #1
"Voila" vs. "Viola"
Voila (pronounced "vwa-la"): a French exclamatory word similar in meaning to "Presto!" or "There it is!"
Example of misspelling in context: "I took a little paint and a little chalk and viola: my picture was complete."
Viola (pronounced "vee-o'-luh" or "vy-o'-luh"): a stringed instrument larger than a violin; a certain genus of plants.
Example of misspelling in context: "I play second chair voila. My brother plays first chair presto, and his wife plays in the ta-da section."
Common Misspelling #2
"Definitely" vs. "Definately"
Definitely (pronounced "def'-i-net-ly"): without doubt or question.
Example of misspelling in context: "He is definately going to be late for practice.
Definately (pronounced "def-i-nate'-ly"): the wrong way to spell "definitely."
Proposed correct usage of the misspelled word: "The giant attacking Todd and Lee made Todd go definately*."
Common Misspelling #3
"To" vs. "Too" vs. "Two"
To (pronounced "too"): a preposition expressing direction.
Too (pronounced "too"): very; extremely; in addition; as well; also; additionally; furthermore.
Two (pronounced "too"): a cardinal number that is the same as one plus one, three minus one, the square root of four, twelve divided by six, and the digit in the ones place juxtaposed with the number four in the tens place of the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Example of misspellings in context: "Too make it two the to o'clock showing of The Miracle on 42nd Street, you need two make a left on avenue number too, but don't go to far or you'll find yourself falling intwo a mess of trouble, the likes of which you've not seen since your terrible toos."
Correct usage: "That was too funny." "He went to the store." "She bought two eggs."
---
If I can persuade even one...hundred percent of the general population to obey the correct spelling and usage of just these few words, I would still have a long way to go; but at least I would not have to strain my brain and annoy my left brain so much trying to decipher the hidden meaning behind everyone's comments. Keep in mind, I understand the basic evolution of language and the fact that technology helps to bridge gaps between different-speaking cultures by speeding up the changes in language. I understand all that. But, shouldn't there be some kind of structure, some sort of rules put in place to stabilize it?
With that said, I close with this.
*In case you don't get it: "The giant attacking Todd and Lee made Todd go 'deaf and ate Lee.'"
(This MySBlentry was originally posted on 20 January 2009 at 11:57AM.)
Yes, it's true. People write comments that they know others in the general public will read. They seek to make a point in their writing, whether it be a snappy comeback directed at a previous commenter, witty commentary on the subject in question, or to provide additional insight into the discussion.
However, no matter the purpose in their discourse, too many times do they subject the readers to a mind-numbing plethora of poor grammar and bad spelling. (I define "bad" here as simultaneously "incorrect" and "destined to doom the future of humanity when pigeons and jackals with better spelling skills than the greater percentage of English-speaking peoples take out their rage with red ink pens and pleather-encased spell-checking dictionaries.")
That brings me to the point of this essay:
Common Misspellings and How to Fix Them
Common Misspelling #1
"Voila" vs. "Viola"
Voila (pronounced "vwa-la"): a French exclamatory word similar in meaning to "Presto!" or "There it is!"
Example of misspelling in context: "I took a little paint and a little chalk and viola: my picture was complete."
Viola (pronounced "vee-o'-luh" or "vy-o'-luh"): a stringed instrument larger than a violin; a certain genus of plants.
Example of misspelling in context: "I play second chair voila. My brother plays first chair presto, and his wife plays in the ta-da section."
Common Misspelling #2
"Definitely" vs. "Definately"
Definitely (pronounced "def'-i-net-ly"): without doubt or question.
Example of misspelling in context: "He is definately going to be late for practice.
Definately (pronounced "def-i-nate'-ly"): the wrong way to spell "definitely."
Proposed correct usage of the misspelled word: "The giant attacking Todd and Lee made Todd go definately*."
Common Misspelling #3
"To" vs. "Too" vs. "Two"
To (pronounced "too"): a preposition expressing direction.
Too (pronounced "too"): very; extremely; in addition; as well; also; additionally; furthermore.
Two (pronounced "too"): a cardinal number that is the same as one plus one, three minus one, the square root of four, twelve divided by six, and the digit in the ones place juxtaposed with the number four in the tens place of the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Example of misspellings in context: "Too make it two the to o'clock showing of The Miracle on 42nd Street, you need two make a left on avenue number too, but don't go to far or you'll find yourself falling intwo a mess of trouble, the likes of which you've not seen since your terrible toos."
Correct usage: "That was too funny." "He went to the store." "She bought two eggs."
---
If I can persuade even one...hundred percent of the general population to obey the correct spelling and usage of just these few words, I would still have a long way to go; but at least I would not have to strain my brain and annoy my left brain so much trying to decipher the hidden meaning behind everyone's comments. Keep in mind, I understand the basic evolution of language and the fact that technology helps to bridge gaps between different-speaking cultures by speeding up the changes in language. I understand all that. But, shouldn't there be some kind of structure, some sort of rules put in place to stabilize it?
With that said, I close with this.
*In case you don't get it: "The giant attacking Todd and Lee made Todd go 'deaf and ate Lee.'"
(This MySBlentry was originally posted on 20 January 2009 at 11:57AM.)
15 April 2009
What Happened to Clever Figurative Language?
I like to watch YouTube, especially postings of Animaniacs cartoons, Whose Line is it Anyway, and various clips of excellent (most of the time) singing. (I include the recent Muppets postings with the ever-so-talented Beaker with these.)
However, the main thing that amazes me in any of these media are the comments below the videos by users (*pointing into the audience* like you...or you...or even you). Frequently, I view the comments before letting the video play to avoid those random 30-second long still videos ending in the Scary Loud Screaming Monster Face (which sounds like a good name for a rock band or an exclamation from Jerry Lewis' caricature voice) videos that purport to be something legitimate and end up making you spill tea on your lap. (Well, that's my excuse for the tea in my lap, at least.)
But, I digress. A lot. Very often in fact. But, I'm losing my point. Moving on....
The comments for these video sites (as well as on many blog sites and news articles) tend to be filled with various statements of profound insight into the subject at hand, profane attempts at being clever, pretentious nonsequitirs attempting to be humorous, or parasitic postings for porn sites. (Yay, I love alliteration.) But, now I get to my point:
"That was (funny/scary/dumb/lame/boring/aquamarine) as (insert monosyllabic expletive)!"
(This MySBlentry originally posted on 19 August 2008 at 7:44AM.)
COMMENTS FROM ORIGINAL POST:
However, the main thing that amazes me in any of these media are the comments below the videos by users (*pointing into the audience* like you...or you...or even you). Frequently, I view the comments before letting the video play to avoid those random 30-second long still videos ending in the Scary Loud Screaming Monster Face (which sounds like a good name for a rock band or an exclamation from Jerry Lewis' caricature voice) videos that purport to be something legitimate and end up making you spill tea on your lap. (Well, that's my excuse for the tea in my lap, at least.)
But, I digress. A lot. Very often in fact. But, I'm losing my point. Moving on....
The comments for these video sites (as well as on many blog sites and news articles) tend to be filled with various statements of profound insight into the subject at hand, profane attempts at being clever, pretentious nonsequitirs attempting to be humorous, or parasitic postings for porn sites. (Yay, I love alliteration.) But, now I get to my point:
What happened to clever figurative language? More often than anything you will read something like the following:
"That was (funny/scary/dumb/lame/boring/aquamarine) as (insert monosyllabic expletive)!"
or the now clichéd assortment of cyber-acronyms, my least favorite of which includes a variant of the "omigosh" syllables.
(Of course the grammar, spelling, and rules of punctuation will not be anything resembling correct, but I think you get the point.)
Far and beyond the dull, ineffective, and annoying use of expletives and overused but illogical metaphors is the sheer lack of creative figurative language.
"That was (funny/scary/dumb/lame/boring/aquamarine) as (a monkey juggling toasters/falling head first into a pit of rabid falafels/a raging horde of Jamaican water buffalo/Richard Simmons)!"
So, please, for the sake of creative language and the sanity of many: take great care in the words you choose to use. Make reading what you have to say interesting, not just another stream of toilet water (also a good name for a rock band).
And, now, back to Animaniacs. Ha, that Wakko is as funny as a bologna sandwich parade in Turkey.
(This MySBlentry originally posted on 19 August 2008 at 7:44AM.)
COMMENTS FROM ORIGINAL POST:
2 Kudos
I am laughing so hard that I am shedding tears over the rabid falafels!
Posted by Melissa Starcher on Wednesday, September 03, 2008 - 7:34 AM
Posted by Melissa Starcher on Wednesday, September 03, 2008 - 7:34 AM
07 May 2008
One of My First Stories
When I was a young lad of less than half-a-score years, I started writing a story. It was a one-page story that over a short amount of time became a fifteen page story (each page being a "chapter"). Then, I started the sequel, which also led to the final part of the trilogy.
I did all this before I even realized stories were written in trilogies.
I never did finish the last part, though. It's still in a binder somewhere, just waiting to be finished and perhaps published. I need an illustrator, though.
I did all this before I even realized stories were written in trilogies.
I never did finish the last part, though. It's still in a binder somewhere, just waiting to be finished and perhaps published. I need an illustrator, though.
25 April 2008
Writer's Block
After a few successful, sequential days of creative energy and free forming flow of ideas and thoughts, I am now in writer's block. I mean, if you can actually be "in" writer's block.
You know, as if "Writer's Block" was an address somewhere in the middle of the city.
2851 Writer's Block, Anytown, USA.
Anyway...that's where I am now.
You know, as if "Writer's Block" was an address somewhere in the middle of the city.
2851 Writer's Block, Anytown, USA.
Anyway...that's where I am now.
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