What Happened to Clever Figurative Language?

I like to watch YouTube, especially postings of Animaniacs cartoons, Whose Line is it Anyway, and various clips of excellent (most of the time) singing. (I include the recent Muppets postings with the ever-so-talented Beaker with these.)

However, the main thing that amazes me in any of these media are the comments below the videos by users (*pointing into the audience* like you...or you...or even you). Frequently, I view the comments before letting the video play to avoid those random 30-second long still videos ending in the Scary Loud Screaming Monster Face (which sounds like a good name for a rock band or an exclamation from Jerry Lewis' caricature voice) videos that purport to be something legitimate and end up making you spill tea on your lap. (Well, that's my excuse for the tea in my lap, at least.)

But, I digress. A lot. Very often in fact. But, I'm losing my point. Moving on....

The comments for these video sites (as well as on many blog sites and news articles) tend to be filled with various statements of profound insight into the subject at hand, profane attempts at being clever, pretentious nonsequitirs attempting to be humorous, or parasitic postings for porn sites. (Yay, I love alliteration.) But, now I get to my point:

What happened to clever figurative language? More often than anything you will read something like the following:

"That was (funny/scary/dumb/lame/boring/aquamarine) as (insert monosyllabic expletive)!"

or the now clichéd assortment of cyber-acronyms, my least favorite of which includes a variant of the "omigosh" syllables.

(Of course the grammar, spelling, and rules of punctuation will not be anything resembling correct, but I think you get the point.)

Far and beyond the dull, ineffective, and annoying use of expletives and overused but illogical metaphors is the sheer lack of creative figurative language.

"That was (funny/scary/dumb/lame/boring/aquamarine) as (a monkey juggling toasters/falling head first into a pit of rabid falafels/a raging horde of Jamaican water buffalo/Richard Simmons)!"

So, please, for the sake of creative language and the sanity of many: take great care in the words you choose to use. Make reading what you have to say interesting, not just another stream of toilet water (also a good name for a rock band).

And, now, back to Animaniacs. Ha, that Wakko is as funny as a bologna sandwich parade in Turkey.

(This MySBlentry originally posted on 19 August 2008 at 7:44AM.)

COMMENTS FROM ORIGINAL POST:

2 Kudos

I am laughing so hard that I am shedding tears over the rabid falafels!
Posted by Melissa Starcher on Wednesday, September 03, 2008 - 7:34 AM